Vintage Advertisements from the age of Mad Ad Men

I clipped these advertisements from the pages of old, moldy National Geographic and Popular Science magazines.

The Universal Food Chopper

The idea of a stream of living animals gleefully flowing into a meat grinder is surreal. Peta is not going to like this, and I can't say I blame them.

Chubby Guy at the Beach

Check out the shorts on the poor chubby guy. A visual attrocity! He needs to lay off the carbs, or at least spend September to May exercising.

The Hires Rootbeer Kid

I can't explain the appeal of this one. The kid kind of looks like a young Sam Kinison at a carnival selling soda to rubes.

The Shaving Baby

It's Baby Finsta! Don't let your babies shave.

Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic

Why use Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic when you can eat at Taco Bell three times a day instead? I'm talking about 1990s Taco Bell - when it was amazing.

The Dude with the Giant Bootle of Whiskey

If booze is your thing, don't half-ass it. Get the biggest available bottle and take it with you where ever you go.

The Stim-U-Lax Junior

This is the Junior model. I'm afraid to see the Senior.

The Giant Eye Thorazine Ad

Now I know which drug to prescribe my patiences if a giant eye starts following them.

Hasting Piston Rings

I like the cartoon car in this one. It reminds me of something out of Richard Scarey or Wacky Races.

Sexy BBQ

What bachelor doesn't hope to meet a sexy lady at the barbecue?
 
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